“Jersey Shore” is a television series on MTV that follows 8 housemates spending their summer on the Jersey Shore. In it, the show examines the lives of young adults living and vacationing on the various resort towns in the northern part of the Jersey Shore.

The show plays upon the stereotype of the guido, a subculture amongst Italian-American youth in the region directly north of the Jersey Shore (usually from New York, also known as “Bennys”) who often vacation there, prompting criticism from groups such as the National Italian American Foundation and from some people living in the area. Residents of South Jersey have also criticized the show for not showing any representation of the southern, and larger, part of the Jersey Shore and any of the residents of the Jersey Shore.

The recent Jersey Shore Show has announced its line of MTV Casts. These colorful characters will instantly become your new reality show best friends when the MTV show about eight guidos in a summer house starts tonight.

Without further ado, here are the names of Jersey Shore’s MTV casts:

MTV Cast 1: Angelina “Jolie”

Age: 22
Hometown: Staten Island, New York
Relationship Status: Has a boyfriend who she is faithful to.
Claim to Fame: Claims to be the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island. Wait, is she Angelina Jolie or Kim Kardashian? We’re confused.
Love or Hate: We love her when she’s KK, and hate her when she’s Angie.

MTV Cast 2: Jenni “J-Wow”

Age: 23
Hometown: Franklin Square, New York
Relationship Status: She has a boyfriend, but that doesn’t stop her.
Claim to Fame: Absolutely no self control.
Love or Hate: We love sluts!

MTV Cast 3: Nicole “Snookie”

Age: 21
Hometown: Marlboro, New York
Relationship Status: Single and actively looking.
Claim to Fame: She “invented the freakin’ poof!”
Love or Hate: We love her like we love Kim’s wig from Real Housewives of Atlanta. PS—”I invented the freakin’ poof” is officially the hottest new catch phrase.

MTV Cast 4: Sammy “Sweetheart”

Age: 22
Hometown: Hazlet, New Jersey
Relationship Status: Recently single.
Claim to Fame: Has both castmates Mike and Ronnie chasing after her.
Love or Hate: We love bitches, we hate sweethearts.

MTV Cast 5: Mike “The Situation”

Age: 27
Hometown: Staten Island, New York
Relationship Status: Single, oh so single.
Claim to Fame: Got his nickname because his abs are so ripped they are a “situation.”
Love or Hate: We hate that we love him.

MTV Cast 6: DJ Ronnie D

Age: 28
Hometown: Johnston, Rhode Island (named after Levi)
Relationship Status: Surprisingly single.
Claim to Fame: Not only is he R.I.’s most famous DJ, but he has a tanning bed in his house and he does his hair twice a day.
Love or Hate: As the ultimate stereotypical guido, we love him practically without irony.

MTV Cast 6:Ronnie

Age: 23
Hometown: Da Bronx, biatch
Relationship Status: Adamantly single, possibly gay.
Claim to Fame: Is the number one brawler in the house.
Love or Hate: The faux-hawk makes us hate. Sorry. The same thing happened to David Beckham back in 2001. Also, it ups your gay quotient by a factor of 10.

MTV Cast